What Does A Traditional Japanese Matchmaker Do?

What does a traditional Japanese matchmaker do? So, matchmaking is something which has been on the rise in Japan. A lot of people will go to a traditional Japanese matchmaker to find a spouse. Obviously, though, you want to know what a matchmaker is going to be doing before you really consider actually engaging with one, and book a consultation to actually start moving the process forward.

So, my name is Stephen Frost, I am the founder of Marriage Matching here in Osaka, Japan. We are a specialist Japanese marriage agency, we do matchmaking, we also do dating coaching to help people find that right person and just ensure that they're in the right mindset to achieve dating success. So, what does a traditional Japanese matchmaker do?

There is a lot to the process. For one, they will sit down with potential clients getting to know them, ensuring that: one, they are someone that they would actually want to work with, and two, they are someone who has the right kind of personality, qualities and background to actually achieve a harmonious, reliable, loving marriage. So two very key points here, and for one, yes, a traditional Japanese matchmaker, they want to know that they can work with you easily before they take you on as a client. Reasoning for this, pure and simple, if you are unable to actually work with them effectively, if you're unable to take feedback, if you're unable to form a kind of cohesion with them, a synergy with your matchmaker, it's going to get very, very difficult for them to make reliable suggestions to you, and to know that you're actually going to follow advice and actually work with them effectively.

So that's one of the key points they're looking for. The other very key point, obviously, they want to know that you are in a mindset which will lead to a reliable match for marriage. So within this obviously multiple different personalities within people around the world. There are, however, some very key qualifiers which are significant when it comes to knowing that someone will actually be able to form a stable, lasting, loving marriage, and those are things that they are looking for within that first consultation. The first consultation usually around about 45 minutes to an hour. They can be done via zoom if you're overseas, if you are here within Japan, they will generally prefer to meet in person to get to know you so they can pick up on the cues on a reasonably more effective level.

You can pick up the cues via video call as well. It's just more comfortable when it's actually done in person for a lot of people. Beyond that, because that is just the first step. Beyond that, we then have all of the background checks that have to be gone through. People will have checks to do with their marital status. In Japan, for Japanese people, that is very, very easy. They will go to the ward office and they will get what is called a dokushin shomeisho. In English, that is, a single status certificate, it’s proof about their marital status. The process for different people from different countries does vary. For some via their own country, they can go to the government and particular parts of the government, which will issue proof that that person is legally single for others, especially from the US, Canada, they will need to get what is called a single status affidavit, at this moment in time. On top of those things, employment checks, financial checks, both done to make sure that that person is stable. Education checks, looking at certificates to make sure that that person's education is real and it can be verified. On top of those things, any other claims or statements that a person is making about themselves, they also have to be checked and verified. So there is a multiple layer process within those kind of background checks, within that kind of verification, and this layers then into the trust that people have when they're working with a traditional Japanese matchmaker, because one, they know that person has been sat down and talked with, they've been through essentially an interview process, a consultation.

They've also had background checks and verification of statements that they make about themselves, which builds in a lot of trust. This thing comes through with a number of things. One, when someone is actually receiving a recommendation for an omiai for a potential partner, they know that they can trust their matchmaker because their matchmaker is doing those background checks because they sat down with that person, they know them to a level, and two, they know that they can have faith in that person because the statements, everything they've said about themselves have been checked and verified as true. So, those are core parts of what a traditional Japanese matchmaker will do in the run up to registration. Obviously. Then after registration, they are feeding through recommendations, as just mentioned, for people in terms of potential partners, people that they believe are going to be highly compatible, and when they're coming up with these suggestions, they are going through a whole set of different people. Most of the time, people that they do know because they have actually spoken with them, if not they’re people that they know via a sister organization, especially here in Japan, because we generally work through federations. But generally with that, we do work alongside other agencies very, very closely.

So there are strong relationships between different matchmakers. So matchmakers will collaborate, they will talk and they will get communication flowing around potential members, potential partners, which helps with the whole suggestion process when it comes to putting forward someone as a potential partner for marriage. So, there is that side of things as well. Obviously, then organizing the introductions themselves, that is a core duty of a traditional Japanese matchmaker, and then also post introduction, getting the feedback and making sure that all of the cultural points they get checked off. There can be differences with communication between different cultures. This can lead to potential issues, which is again, one of the reasons why a traditional Japanese matchmaker needs to know that they can have a good potential rapport with a potential client before they actually start working with them, because they need to be able to cover off these things and give feedback in a way that is going to be accepted and actually worked with efficiently.

So, more core aspects to do with what a traditional Japanese matchmaker will actually do when they're working with someone. Alongside that, they will provide various different bits of feedback. They do work as a go between with their clients. So between different partners, they will feed information backwards and forwards. They will give suggestions, prompts as to what to do, whether to move a relationship forward, whether someone is looking to know key information from a potential partner, all of those kind of things.

So they will help with that and essentially do a certain amount of dating coaching to help them build that relationship more effectively. So there is a lot of work that a traditional Japanese matchmaker does when they're working, especially within a Japanese marriage agency, helping someone to find the right person as a spouse. So, my name again Stephen Frost, founder of Marriage Matching here in Osaka, Japan.

What does a traditional Japanese matchmaker do? They do a lot. They go through the background checks. They ensure that people are going to be suitable to work with. They ensure that they're going to be good potential marriage partners. They will feed through finding suggestions of people who are highly compatible with, who they perceive as being highly compatible, for someone for marriage, and then they will help along the way with building that relationship through to the point of actually them announcing that they have decided to get married.

So, that is what a traditional Japanese matchmaker does. I trust you found this useful, and if you are looking to work with a traditional Japanese matchmaker to find a Japanese spouse, please do get in contact with us at Marriage Matching, that's what we do. Thank you.

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