What Is Dating About? Understanding Date Relationship Meaning

What is dating about? Understanding date relationship meaning. So, getting into dating, understanding what dating is. It's a common point for a lot of people to be starting out where they're unsure about what things are going on, whether dating is being in a relationship for a start, how deep that relationship is, what the relationship actually means. This is to help you understand all of the basics behind all of those kind of things.

My name is Stephen Frost, I am the founder of Marriage Matching here in Osaka, Japan. As a note, we are a marriage agency, we help people find the right partner for marriage. Also do dating coaching, helping people get their mindset in the right shape to achieve dating success. 

So, what is dating really? Well, dating is essentially getting to know someone. It's also about getting to know yourself and what you realistically want in terms of love and relationships. It's looking at all of that side of things, looking at compatibility, looking at harmony, working out what is going to be right for you, and what is going to create happiness within your life. So, every date is going to yield something where you are understanding more about the person that you are with, your partner, and also more about yourself.

Because there will be times through various different situations, through different conversations where stuff comes up and, well, you'll start to or at least you should reflect on yourself and your own reactions within what is actually going on, what has actually come to light, new information, new data. Also, it will give you a chance to reflect on your partner and how closely you're aligned. Whether you're diverging in terms of life and what you both want, or whether you're converging and coming together, which helps to create harmony and happiness.

So, that brings us on then to the next point, what is the point of dating? What are the core purposes? What are the goals? Well, this does actually vary by person, and this is where things like intentional dating become so important for a lot of people. So, for some people the point of dating is literally just to go out there, have fun.

For some people, it's because they want to have a physical relationship and that's realistically it. For other people they want to spend time getting to know people, understanding people, understanding themselves, and for other people, which is probably the greater majority, they actually want to find their true love. They want to find that right partner for marriage, their life partner, someone that they can realistically enjoy spending their life with, and create that happy, harmonious way of living and way of life which is going to bring them fulfillment and realistically fulfillment to their partner as well.

So, beyond this, what are the different types of dating that you'll actually encounter or that you could encounter? Well, the first one, for many, is casual dating, which for most people is how things realistically start with someone. It is that stage of getting to know someone, going out for coffee, maybe going out for dinner, going to a game, going to a concert, that kind of thing.

For some people, casual dating can also have a physical dimension to it, so it can be more intimate. They can be sleeping together, but without any real commitment. So, that is the core thing when it comes to casual dating realistically, is that lack of commitment. Whether you're just going to coffee with someone, getting to know them, working out whether you want something more intense, or more serious should I say, more committed, or whether you're going for something physical and you're just having fun. That is essentially casual dating, it's the lack of commitment.

When you move to exclusive dating, well, this is where more of the commitment side of things come in, and certainly within exclusive dating you can still be going out for coffee, you can be going out for dinner. There can be a very minimal physical side of things, with the level of intimacy basically going to holding hands, hugging or kissing, which is the limit for what we do as a marriage agency to keep people focused on what's going on in here.

Within exclusive dating, there will be people who go to a more physical side of things and they are sleeping together. The point with an exclusive relationship, though, being that the two of you have decided you are only going to see or date each other, and you are committed to each other. The level of commitment, well, that's probably on an ever increasing basis, but there is a level of commitment and a level of understanding that you are only dating and seeing each other.

So, long-term dating. Long-term dating that's when things start going over the months into the years. It can take people a long time, especially in Western culture, to decide whether or not someone is right for them for marriage. The variance with a lot of Asian cultures is that people tend to decide very quickly, and they move through that commitment very quickly, because unless they get the clear signals about someone definitely being right, they will essentially move on.

So, most people as a reality, and we've seen this time and time again through everything that we actually do as a marriage agency, the majority of people, and this is through Western culture and eastern culture, most people know within 2 to 3 months of dating whether or not they are right for each other. A lot of people do get that love at first sight thing, okay, and it can be a real, real thing. We have encountered it multiple times where people know on that first meeting that a person is right for them. So, long-term dating, when things are going into multiple, multiple months into the years, there can be a component of commitment within it, it can still be casual. So you need to be very, very careful when you're dating someone, especially when it's going into the long term that you are clear around each of your intentions and whether you are in something which is exclusive or casual, because there can be the variation there.

Friends with benefits, it is a relationship, but basically it means that you're extremely casual. You are just seeing each other for intimate side of things. Essentially, you're sleeping together, but beyond that, there is nothing else within the relationship. Not so healthy for a lot of people, especially if you're looking for something with a love component within it. Situationship extremely ambiguous, it varies couple to couple, what's actually going on there. Realistically, there can be different intents and things going on. It gets very unhealthy, lack of clarity, realistically avoid it. Find someone that you're actually going to be compatible with. Find someone that you can actually share, love, harmony, and really enjoy life with properly.

Open relationship, works for some people, and essentially it means that you're actually dating multiple, multiple people to the point where you're probably being intimate on a fairly serious level with multiple people. You probably come back to each other, there's going to be a level of love there, a level of commitment. However, within an open relationship, you know that you're both clear to do whatever you want with whoever you want, so it's healthy for you if you both agree it's healthy for you, and you want that kind of thing. However, for the majority of people, finding someone that you are truly compatible with, that's when you're going to actually derive the majority of your fulfillment and happiness, okay.

What other things? Well, obviously online dating, it's where a lot of people start out. Going through apps, going through sites, getting introductions, that kind of thing, looking to actually find someone who will realistically be the one or fulfill other criteria within dating that they're looking for.

Speed dating, usually done via an event, you spend minimal time, so we're talking about less than a minute usually, getting to know someone before moving on, getting to know someone else, could be multiple rounds. Usually they do like 2 to 3 rounds with actually interacting, and talking to each person. Can be a great way to meet people. If you look at things like Malcolm Gladwell, what he mentioned about thin slicing, you get to know a lot of information within that first 30 seconds of meeting someone, and realistically, there is a level of understanding of compatibility and what you both want. So, speed dating does work for some people. Limited dating pool that creates issues for a lot of people.

Blind date, when you have zero idea about either of you, you've never even seen an image, let alone understood anything. Usually comes as a recommendation through someone that knows both of you, and it can be a good way to just meet someone new and understand, well, maybe this person's going to be good, maybe they're not, its come from a recommendation. Works for some people, less so for others.

Friend’s set up, this is actually quite a common way that things are done. So if you have got mutual friends, you've probably got mutual values, mutual beliefs, and that can be a good foundation for a lot of relationships. So going through a friend set up, which is something that's very, very common here in Japan, certainly for people when they're in their late teens and early 20s before they've got into serious relationships, and people still have friends that they can recommend to other friends.

That kind of friend set up can be a very good way of doing things. Other things, group dating, again, common in Japan, going out within groups, it keeps things on a kind of more relaxed fashion. There's less focus, so you can enjoy things and just see how things develop. It can be good. Doesn't work for everyone.

Long distance dating, something that we see on a regular basis through what we do at Marriage Matching, obviously working with couples in different countries. Long distance dating works when you've got good communication, where you can actually spend a reasonable amount of time with each other on a regular basis, and actually develop things properly. It can actually work out well, and certainly we've seen it with multiple couples over the years, where they've been on opposite sides of the world, and still they've worked through to marriage in a very, very short period of time, usually within a few months, and certainly it's a marriage that lasts. They actually really do have the true love there that makes things work. That realistically is what dating is about, that helps you understand the date relationship meaning. Realistically, if you are dating, you are in a relationship that is something well worth remembering, so never be ambiguous about that. However, always be clear, get communication flowing between you and your partner so that you both understand properly where you stand with each other, and where things are going for the future, and then you can actually develop something which is really worthwhile and really rewarding.

My name again Stephen Frost, I'm the founder of Marriage Matching here in Osaka, Japan. I trust you found this useful and I wish you every success on your dating journey. Thank you.

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