The Dating Process From First Step Through To Relationship

The dating process from first step through to relationship. So, how does it work? What is the whole dating process? If you've never dated before, or if you're looking for greater clarity on what dating really is and how you build a relationship, this is a video for you. My name is Stephen Frost, I'm the founder of Marriage Matching here in Osaka, Japan.

We are a specialist marriage agency, we help people to find marriage partners. We also do dating coaching to help people get in the right mindset for dating success. That's background on me, and that's why this is going to be useful.

So, the dating process, obviously the first thing is to actually find someone that you match well with, there is going to be a level of compatibility. Certainly this is true when you are looking for an exclusive relationship, when you're working towards finding true love, when you're working towards finding someone to get married to. Equally well, it can work for other types of relationships, but specifically, the focus here is on finding that true love. Now, finding a match, there are multiple ways of doing this.

A lot of people go through dating apps, you need to be really, really careful when you're doing that due to mental health issues, burnout, that kind of thing. People on dating apps often looking for different things. As a result, there can be a lot of rejection. There can be a lot of situations that arise where people are just looking for different things, they don't mesh together and people dislike getting back to step one. It can be very, very challenging for a lot of people. So, dating apps can use them, mostly avoid them if you're looking for real love. Other things you can do, speed dating is an option. There are lots of speed dating events, but again, issues; limited dating pool, limited intents, those kind of things. Can work well for some, but you need to be very, very clear about what dating pool, what the alignment, in terms of values and beliefs are of the people going to those events. Other things, matchmaking and marriage agencies, you can get to meet people who are a very, very close match, if not complete match for what you're looking for through going through matchmaking and introduction agencies, marriage agencies. Difference being that in comparison to a lot of dating apps which are relatively low cost, speed dating, speed dating events which are relatively low cost, introductions, matchmaking, marriage agencies, the price range does increase a lot. They tend to be a lot higher in terms of the investment. The reality being off that, is that you tend to find someone that you are a lot more compatible with far quicker. So, that is the whole first match thing.

What basically comes from then is the first date. Now going through apps, going through speed dating, you will have had some interaction with a person. Certainly if you're going through dating apps, make sure you get multiple messages, do some video calls before you agree to meet in person. If you've done a speed dating event you've already met in person, you already understand that person reasonably well. Going out for coffee is a good next step, as with anything that you've met, anyone that you've met through a dating app. When you've gone through a matchmaking agency, or a marriage agency, or an introduction agency, usually there is a first meeting which is the introduction or Omiai. Usually that's something quite formal in Japan, or certainly we do afternoon tea here, which is a very nice way to meet people. It's very relaxed. Because it's a little bit more elevated than just going for coffee, there tends to be a bit more of a fun element around it, so people can kind of like probe into understanding each other better and just enjoy the moment. But that is realistically the first date.

Moving on from there, generally, people will be in casual dating for a period of time while they're working out how well aligned they are. You need to make sure you've got good communication during this phase to make sure that you understand where each of you are, what you both want. Certainly you're looking for aligned, shared values. You're looking for aligned beliefs. You are looking for shared life goals. You want to make sure that you communicate well and that you want the same things in life. Very, very important all of those things. Provided you've got that, things then move forward into other stages.

Once you've spent time in casual dating, generally things will move to exclusive dating, which is when the two of you agree that you are only going to date or see each other, you don't want to be in a relationship with anyone else, just each other, at least on a romantic level. Obviously you've got family relationships, friends, those kind of things. But basically in terms of romance, in terms of love, you become exclusive to each other. Obviously, that then progresses further and further and further. You get to understand deeper levels of compatibility with each, with each other, whether you're converging, whether you're diverging on things.

Obviously, you want things to be converging, in order for true love and a healthy relationship to flourish. But provided that all works well, and you do see life in the same way and you want the same things, marriage can then flow from there, and all being well, a lifetime of happiness and wellness.

My name again, Stephen Frost, I'm the founder of Marriage Matching here in Osaka, Japan.

The dating process step by step; finding that first match, getting the first date going on multiple dates through the casual dating phase into exclusive dating and then ideally, marriage provided you found the one. I trust this has been really useful for you. Thank you for watching through, and I do wish you every success on your dating journey. Thank you.

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