Dating: Mental Health And Emotional Well-Being

Dating: mental health and emotional well-being. This is something which a lot of people struggle with, and there are a lot of reasons why they struggle with it. The reality is you never need to have issues with mental health or emotional well-being, provided you're doing the right things, and this video goes into what to do to ensure that your dating journey is a smooth, successful one and you stay in a good emotional state the whole way through it.

My name is Stephen Frost, I am the founder of Marriage Matching here in Osaka, Japan. We are a specialist marriage agency. We help people to find marriage partners. We also help with dating coaching to help people get in the right dating mindset for dating success. So, big issue that helps, well, big issue that a lot of people encounter, is with mental health within dating, especially if they're going through dating apps. There is a lot of dating burnout that occurs with people, and certainly when I've been in around Reddit helping people with dating advice, you get to see a lot of people talking about burnout, giving up on dating due to rejection and lack of compatibility with people.

Real, real issue. One of the things at core here is to do with mindset. You do need to be relatively resilient when it comes to dating. Being in the right dating pool also helps a significant amount. The biggest thing when it comes to burnout with dating is meeting people that you're incompatible with, and the rejection around that, and the sad reality around that is that a lot of that is to do with the dating pool that you are in.

If you're in a dating pool, which is very ambiguous and people are looking for different things, you're going to hit consistent knock backs. It's going to get very challenging and there's going to be a lot to deal with. So getting into the right dating pool is something that can actually help to insulate you against a lot of those challenges in the first place.

So working out what you really, really want in terms of dating and a relationship, is a crucial first step, because then you can make sure that you get in the right dating pool and you minimize any potential fallout on a mental health level. So, beyond that, what can also happen? Well, obviously when you do find people that you're more compatible with, you go into the casual dating, you can go into exclusive dating as well, and things can progress.

How challenging is it to find the one? It can be quite challenging. You're looking for a very, very fine set of things where you've got high levels of compatibility, certainly with shared values, shared beliefs, shared life goals, good communication. You need to have all of those things working together in order for dating success to actually come, in order to actually find the one.

So, the point on that one is that there will be times when you are casually dating someone, when you are in exclusive dating, you've been getting to know someone for a period of time, red flags come up. Issues arise and it just goes, “yeah, this is just not going to work anymore, we need to break up” and that can be a mutual thing.

It can be a one sided thing where one person just goes “no, not doing this anymore.” When it is one person that has decided it's not working, you’ve then also got the issue in and around ghosting, which can come up and they just literally drop out and they're gone, and you're unable to communicate with them and get feedback.

The reality around this one, and this is something that we do cover with clients, is they're going through the whole marriage agency process. Is that in that you are just looking for the one, there is one person who is going to make you truly happy and be truly compatible with in life, okay. If you are interacting with someone, if you're casually dating, even if you get into an exclusive relationship, a serious relationship with someone and it doesn't work out, one of the best things that you can do is note that, “well, they weren't the one, but in actually dating them, I have actually taken myself a step closer to actually finding the one.

Statistically, I have knocked another person out, which basically means that that number of potentials has reduced, and so I am closer to actually finding the one who is right for me, for marriage and for life.” So that can be a really crucial thing on a mental health level, is that rather than being concerned about rejection, and a relationship breakout, break up, and things not working out, reframe it. Look at it as “okay, well, it would have been nice if that worked out, it didn't, however, because it hasn't statistically I am closer to finding the one who is right for me.” So that's a really, really important thing. Other stuff, which can be very important on a mental health level during dating, finding alone time, constantly going out on dates, you are going to hit a level of burnout.

It's going to overwhelm and get too much. Finding some alone time so you can process things so that you can actually clear emotions off. Also, it gives you time to actually work out how good that relationship really is and whether it's what you actually want. So spending some alone time can actually be very useful. Obviously, you need to communicate well with your partner in and around that, to make sure that both of you are clear on what's going on.

Other stuff that's important to you. Practicing things like mindfulness, doing meditation, and doing other things which help you to just clear off feelings, and get in a good head space that will help you. Going to the gym can be good, help get those endorphins rushing, helps you to feel positive about things. When you are in a positive state of mind, it's a lot easier to achieve dating success, because when you are positive, you create more positive situations in and around you. So, that's just a few things in and around the mental health side of things, the emotional wellbeing side of things. During dating, you need to look after yourself, do things that are going to make you happy, as well as going out on dates and creating happiness with someone else.

Creating happiness within yourself helps to expand happiness and create a greater happiness across happiness, across every relationship you build. So, my name again, Stephen Frost, founder of Marriage Matching here in Osaka, Japan. When it comes to dating, mental health and emotional well-being, make sure you spend time looking after yourself, clearing off old feelings, clearing off things which are going to cause you challenges.

Getting yourself in a mental positive space, and also when things fail to work out with someone rather than getting trudged down into the negativity of things, just view it as a statistical process. Getting one out of the way, which means you’re closer to finding the one. Thank you.

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