What To Look For In A Partner For Marriage And Long Term Relationship Happiness

What to look for in a partner for marriage and long term relationship happiness. So, very, very challenging this one. Finding someone to date, finding someone you're attracted to, that can be relatively easy. When you are looking for a successful long-term relationship, a successful marriage, there are certain qualities that you really, really need to get precise on and be very, very careful when you're actually finding the right person.

So, my name is Stephen Frost, I am the founder of Marriage Matching here in Osaka, Japan. We are a specialist marriage agency. We also do dating coaching, helping people to ensure that they're in the right mindset and they've got everything in place so that dating can be successful, and they can get the love life outcome they want. So, when you're looking for a marriage partner, what are the key things to be looking for?

Well, if you have seen any of my other videos, you will likely have a clue on what some of these are already. The core one, and I can never stress this enough to both people that I meet in public, and they're asking questions about these and clients that we're working with, shared values in relationships, absolutely essential, especially for the long term.

Shared values do indicate that basically, you hold the same ideas about life, that you want the same things from life, and that there is a level of harmony between you. When you have got differences in values, friction comes through and it starts to create a lot of issues, and that causes problems for any relationship. When you have got values which are the same and they're in the same hierarchy as well importantly, the two of you naturally gel together and actually being together becomes a very, very easy, comfortable thing. You just work and you flow together naturally. So when it comes for what to look for in a marriage partner; shared values, you need to know what your values are. You need to know what their values are, and you basically need to be very, very careful that you never overlook anything within that, and you stick to that as being an important thing.

What other things are very important? Well, as an extension beyond that, shared beliefs, if you have got differing religious beliefs that can cause an issue, unless you can find a harmony around them where you just honor each other's spiritual ways. Be very careful around that. If you have got differing beliefs, especially around things like money, that can cause a lot of friction, a lot of problems. When you've got different spending habits, when you want to go different places, those things can cause a lot of challenge and a lot of friction.

So, you need to make sure that your beliefs around all of those kind of things are the same. Life goals, shared life goals especially, doing the same things, moving in the same direction together. Again, this all brings harmony within things. When you're looking for a marriage partner, when you're looking for the right marriage partner especially, having that kind of thing which is basically going to keep you together long term, or have you decide and choose to be together long term, that is really, really important. So, shared values, shared beliefs, shared life goals, the ability to communicate with each other easily and effortlessly. You’re never trying to work out whether you should hold something back or whether something is going to upset your partner. If something upsets your partner, you need to be able to deal with it together, okay. If you are holding something back from them, because you are concerned about what they are going to think about you, well, unless it's something mind alteringly terrible because it's got a criminal nature or whatever, yeah you're probably with the wrong person.

If it's something which is going to be refrained out of judgment or embarrassment, again, you need to look at things like your shared values, your shared beliefs, because realistically, you need to be able to talk to your partner about anything and everything in life. Having shared views around things, being mutually supportive, there may be times when something happens and “ah, that was really silly, why did you do that?” and you need to be able to work through that together. When someone is persistently coming at you in a way that they disapprove of you, the choices you're making, the things that you're doing, it's at the very least getting into a level of toxicity, potentially into a level of abuse, and you absolutely need to steer clear of that territory at all costs, they are the wrong person for you. So, they need to be supportive, and that comes from all of those things. Those are essentially the main criteria when it comes to seeking a partner for marriage. In terms of things like physical attraction, is it important? Well, to some people, yes, and this then echoes back to things in and around values and beliefs.

When you've got physical attraction as one of your things within your values, usually as attraction, potentially physical attraction could be psychological attraction as well. It could be there within the beliefs. If attraction is important to you on a physical level, it's important to you. You never need to be embarrassed about that, concerned about that. You just need to find the person who feels all of the other criteria, as well as being physically attracted or physically attractive to you.

Realistically, at that point, it's good if you are physically attractive to them as well. So there are a number of different things which kind of coalesce in together here, and again, short term dating, casual relationships, you can have stuff hit and miss on these things. When you are looking for the right partner for marriage, you need to have really, really close alignment on all of this stuff.

You need to have the conversations you need to be able to work through with these things with people, and ensure that they're looking for the same things in life that you are, and that, realistically, is basically what to look for in a partner for marriage and happiness long term. My name again, Stephen Frost, I'm the founder of Marriage Matching here in Osaka in Japan.

What do you need to look for in the right partner for marriage and happiness? Shared values, shared beliefs, shared life goals. Physical attraction, if it's there for you, and you also need to have really, really good level of communication that flows between you. Those are the main core things to be looking for. There are a few other things about which you can check via the post.

That said, those core things they will see you right on the vast majority of things. Thank you.

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